Roll up, roll up, plenty to go around

Recently, I escaped for a moment for a shower. Notice I said a moment, because within minutes I'd been tracked down by three individuals with heating-seeking capabilities, ever vigilant in case mum should ever get some time alone. So, I'm standing there naked. Two children and husband are in front of me. Riley comes up and pinches a fold of skin on my hipbone. Mmm...delicious muffin top. Adam seizes a chance. "Come on everyone! Let's get mum". Then I'm being prodded and poked for various other opportunities of fleshy real-estate. Pretty soon - well, within seconds - I get tired of this joke. "Bugger off!" I say. "What do you think I am?" This, apparently: