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Monday, September 18, 2006

Ten things you mustn’t underestimate in your child

I had a (slightly) improved night last night, so time for something a bit lighter today.

First, I think this is funny, last night on "TV turns 50", when Mel and Kochie first walk out onto stage, Keira looked at Mel and declared, "Big boobies!". I swear she's obsessed. No woman is safe from her judgement now, so be warned!

Anyway, here goes: Ten things you mustn’t underestimate in your child

  1. Never underestimate the power a near six month old can actually wield with a rattle...as it connects with your head. Or the pain they inflict.
  2. Same as above, but this time substitute daddy’s groin.
  3. Never underestimate the fact that no matter how many times you’ve asked your toddler in the past ten minutes if they need to go potty-and they say no- doesn’t mean they won’t need to go in the next ten seconds.
  4. Never trust a naked baby boy NOT to pee on you while you’re changing his nappy. Just because he’s never done it the past 999 times, doesn’t mean he won’t for change # 1000.
  5. Never underestimate just how bad a morning breath kids can have. It’s as bad as an adults. Or possibly the dog’s.
  6. Never underestimate that if you end up sharing a bed to sleep with your baby, no matter how old he is, you will always end up shivering on the edge with a few inches of space to call your own.
  7. Never underestimate the power of threatening a nap to get your tired kid to do what you ask, but…
  8. Never underestimate how badly it can go, with your child then actually refusing to sleep at all, out of spite. For, yes…
  9. Never underestimate how complex an understanding children have of the more ‘adult’ of emotions, including spite, manipulation, deceit, and flattery. They’re smart buggers. But lastly…
  10. Never underestimate just how much they’re worth it all.

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