Celebrating the ecumenical difference between Catholics and Protestants

Protestant Godfather (watching the cars process out after the Easter Sunday Mass/Baptism of Riley is finished): Why is it that cars are so slow when driving to your church, but are so damn fast driving out? Me (laughing): That's a funny question. Just don't say it too close to my mother - her eyes will scorch you deeper than holy wafers pressed upon the flesh of a vampire if she catches you making jokes. Protestant Godfather: Ah, that's why the water font started bubbling when I walked past, then. Well our party extravaganza is over and it went very well. Despite the cooking, the stress, the lack of storage room, it was wonderful catching up with people we love. Yuk, I'm going all soppy. I must go take my caustic soda tablets now....