Quip of the week

"Mum, what are you eating?" Mum has walked by, forgetting to hide the sheet of fresh filo pastry she's swiped from the fridge and stuffing in her mouth. Filo pastry, you ask?!?! Hey, don't judge me. "Uh - I'm eating pastry." Keira gives me a look. "I know, I know we have to go shopping. Here, give it a try." I break off a piece of the frail veil that's not yet globbed by saliva. Keira puts it in her mouth. She swallows, albeit reluctantly. "Yuk. Toilet Paper." Well said, dearest.