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Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Deveny some love in the air - me, for her

This is why I love this woman.

Now, I'm in the category she questions at the start (why did I change my name? Because I could), but I must say I her "supermum" talk at the end clangs in my ear. As I'm sure it does to other mothers around Australia (and around the world also? )

What do you think?

posted by Miscellaneous-Mum at 3:46 pm

Comments on "Deveny some love in the air - me, for her"

 

Blogger Kin said ... (5:52 pm) : 

I agree about the Supermum comments. I though the exact same thing when I saw it on the news.

As for changing the name, I think for women today it's less about "being owned" and more about establishing a family. I lived in a family with 3 surnames. Don't tell me it's easy. It's not, it's uncomfortable for the people you have to deal with, and it's annoying to correct everybody all the time.

If Hubby had a difficult name I wouldn't have changed mine, and suggested he change his, but as it is both our names are apparently tricky to spell, but his less so. Mine was uncommon, unpronouncable and caused me no end of problems. Despite the fact there is a highway and race track named after some ancient relative.

I understand if I had a career established when I married (I was 21, so no career to speak of) as my year 7 teacher did, she kept her name for work, and created a family name for private use. I mean Jennifer Aniston didn't change her name did she? Or any other celebrity - even Courtney Cox just added Arquette to hers. It's her trademark, a brand if you like.

Anyway, I should probably go and pretend to be a supermum and make some dinner for my kids.

 

Blogger A Mothers Life for Me said ... (10:34 am) : 

I agree with the "supermum" thing. It really irked (for want of a better word) me when I heard it in the media. I suffered badly from PND with both my kids, and part of this is the whole ideal of trying to be a 'supermum'. Ggrrrrrr........
I, too changed my name, just beacuse I guess.....
Liked the article though!

 

Blogger Lori said ... (10:51 am) : 

Its Spring?? What part of the country do you live in?? We are currently in Summer for another few weeks and then its finally Fall!! lol....at least your good outweigh your bad...something to be thankful for:)

 

Blogger Miscellaneous-Mum said ... (11:13 am) : 

kin - that's an interesting personal perspective! I can just how imagine an already tricky name might make life less than simple!

amlfm - that's my beef too. We flog our guts out daily, without any kudos, get mixed messages, like its not enough and then it's so easy for the media to pin the 'supermum' tag on whoever 'they' please!

lori - thanks for your TT message :)

 

Blogger Tracey said ... (10:07 pm) : 

Catherine Deveny? I'd like to slap her for that article. It's enough to make me never read her again if I can help it. She thinks she's so modern and feminist yet all she is doing with her opinions is the other end of the same spectrum of telling women how they should live their lives.

How dare she make assumptions on the choices other women make! About the reasons for changing their surname when they marry, for heaven's sakes! Whatever!! Build a bridge and get over it!

I think women like her who feel the need to slander others on this issue (and this isn't the first article I've seen on that topic recently) have got serious hang ups. They are the type of women that make me very anti the sisterhood of women thing - yet another example of women oppressing other women (and I've experienced a few of those situations in my life.)

We all have many reasons for if and how we decide to get hitched, and where our own line is drawn along 'feminist' type issues. I changed my name because I wanted to; my husband never even got to profer an opinion on it! I happened to want us to have a family name, and my previous name was my father's surname anyway! And I wasn't that fussed on it. But so help me, I didn't change my first name, so I don't appreciate letters addressed to me as Mrs Hisfirstname Lastname, but if that's what floats your boat? Whatever!

I chose not to have my father give me away, because I didn't consider myself a possession to be handed over - but I defend the right of any woman to do that, because it may have some other symbolism to her that is not necessarily chauvinistic.

I happen to agree with her opinion about Jana not being a supermum - but just not the way she goes about saying it. It's the media who have dubbed her as such. I consider Jana as more super-athlete rather than a supermum - any woman who can bounce back that quickly after giving birth has got pretty damn good drive. She also has a pretty damn good backup in terms of support carers. That doesn't make her a supermum - it makes her someone who is very driven, and very fortunate with her support network.

 

Blogger Miscellaneous-Mum said ... (6:14 am) : 

I had no idea there were other articles of this nature out there at the moment? Is it just because of the Pitman/Rawlinson thing? If so, that just seems...odd.

I reckon it'd be interesting to take a squiz at the census results to see just how many women are keeping their maiden names.

I agree though T, to write such a polarising article seems to do more to alienate women from each other than it seeks to unify them under some sort of 'feminist umbrella'.

 

Blogger Miscellaneous-Mum said ... (6:30 am) : 

p.s I realise the discrepancy when I wrote 'polarising' in the above comment, when in the original post I said I loved the article.

Upon reflection, I liked what she said about the 'supermum' stuff, but I can see how offensive the early part might be too. It wasn't to me, but I can see now to others

 

Blogger D. Paul said ... (8:34 am) : 

I have a Y-chromosome, so I'll refrain from commenting too much, other than to say that I see how her work can be polarizing. I know several gals who got married and took their hubbies' names, for no other reason than they wanted to, and woe be to anyone who questions their decisions. Me, I'm not married, but I know my girlfriend isn't interested in taking my name, and that's okay with me, too. It's her name, after all, and whether she chooses to change it should be her choice. But no matter what, she should have the right to choose, either way.

 

Blogger Tracey said ... (9:45 am) : 

(There was some article in the Good Weekend some weeks ago that also carried on about why women would still change their surnames when they married. It was just a general rant, not targeting anyone in particular. The name Catherine Deveny rang a bell - so I wouldn't be surprised if it was another article by her -it was the same vicious vibe.)

I know a guy who changed his name to his wife's when they married. Good for him.

Before we got married, in my job I insisted on using Ms instead of Miss, because I didn't think my marital status was anyone's business. I have tried to maintain the rage since I married, but only really got the opportunity to keep to the Ms thing in one job. Since I had kids the only time I really need to use titles is on forms, so I've kind of given up. If anyone tries to call me Mrs I just tell them to call me by my first name!

 

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